Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in sunny482's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, April 7th, 2007
12:26 pm	I haven't been updating in about a million years. I'd like to say I'm really busy, but I don't even think thats the case. I try and fool myself into saying there are not enough hours in my day - but then I look at some other people who are really moving and I realize that I've got it on the not so bad side. Maybe I'm just lazy. I'm wanting to really start on some kind of "improve myself" plan. I've got no money, and I'm really starting to swim in financial despair these past few months. Good news is we're staying in the house, so I don't have to float rent myself. And I keep my roommate, who has been my social tie to the outside world lately. Sad. I've been messing with this dude, who seems to be pretty into it, and for the first time, I'm not sure if I'M as into it as he is. It's kind of bizarre. Anyway, I'm off to shop. Easter and my mom and grandma's birthday are both in the next two weeks, and I still have to pay my taxes and my license fee. And since if I lose my license to practice, I can't work, I'm gonna need to feel like a jerk and slack on the birthday gifts a little. My mom will totally understand, but my g-ma will turn it into a "you should be better spending money, and why are you in money trouble anyway" kind of deal. Most people say it's the thought that counts, and she won't even care about the crappy present, but she'll love the opportunity to slam me and insult the way I live. Oh, family!! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 15th, 2006
1:37 pm	I've just realized that the last season of Real World is the onl one that I haven't followed faithfully. I saw a re run of the new Challenge show, and knew not one person from this RW. The Detroit Tigers are in the World Series. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 2nd, 2006
7:34 pm	I'm jealous. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
9:54 pm	I make it a habit to not expect things from people - if I do, then I usually just end up disappointed. If you never really think something will happen, you can't be upset when it doesn't happen. It's safe to say that because I don't expect much from people, I don't ask much from people either. That being said - when I DO ask for something, it means that I really, really need it. So, today, when all I need is a friend/shoulder to cry on/something to lean on/and other various cliches of that nature I would really like for someone - ANYONE - to be around. No. Not only is no one around, but I'm actually hearing from people that I was irrational because "I wasn't able to come just because you wanted me to". Yeah, OK. I'm gonna need you to go ahead and fuck off. I didn't WANT you to do anything, I had just lost someone and something really close to me, and I was all alone. I just wanted SOMEONE. I never ask for a mother fucking thing from most of these people, and particularly this one person, yet I'm made to feel like the asshole. And again, and again, and again. Told to tone down my attitude. I'll admit I have a bit of an attitude now, but not when this all started. I was a hysterical, depressed, wreck so I'm sorry if I pleaded a little too much, cried to hard, or just plain on inconvenienced you and your night of watching CBS in my time of need. I'll make sure it never happens again. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 9th, 2006
12:15 pm	Do sorries even count at 2AM? On Friday, he texts when can I see you, lets make plans. I say not tonight (but only cause the rules say too, my Friday plans weren't that cool. But I ended up having fun.) Back on track... He says, is tomorrow good? I say I can pencil him in (yeah, cute, huh?) He says that I better go ahead and use marker (sigh) Saturday (the previously mentioned tomorrow) he calls at about 7:30 to say he's downtown eating. I had just gotten home from my neice/nephews birthday party and say I need to eat and wash up. I'm covered in birthday cake, candy and dirt. He makes requisite jokes about suddenly having a sweet tooth, and says he'll call whem he's done eating. Does he call? Of COURSE NOT! But at 1:43 he says I know you're mad, I'm so sorry I didn't keep my word. I don't want to be nasty, really, so I just say I learned a lesson, and I won't be markering him in again. Seriously, pencil it is from now on. It's not even so bad you broke plans THAT YOU ASKED FOR - but you actually CALLED to make sure they were still up, and THEN never called back. Why bother? And really, why say sorry at 1:43. If you could do it then, could you not have fired off and I'm sorry I got caught up or something text at 9ish? Get real. By 1:43 it just doesn't matter. It's not even a real I'm Sorry. It's just you trying to pretend you're sorry. And the worst part is - I'm dying to know what he was doing when he was supposed to be calling me, and hanging out with me. What was it that kept you from calling, that kept you from even mentioning we weren't gonna do anything until 1:43? I hate it. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
3:02 pm	I still have no computer. It's killing me. It was briefly back after the battery pack needed fixing, then it stopped downloading anything (pictures, songs, everything) and now it seems that when ever I use the keyboard, it just shuts right off. And I can't just get a new keyboard, cause it's a laptop. Amazing how many people ask me if I can't do that though. Like I wouldn't have thought to go out and purchase a $12 keyboard rather than spend millions (or so it seems) to get this one fixed. I'm not dumb, it's a laptop. I'm sad cause I actually have stuff to write about. I make out with a new boy (which is both good and bad) I've actually made progress at work. There is talk of my getting a raise, which is basically bull shit cause there is no money in the budget to give, but at least they recoginize that I deserve it. I moved, it's going cool. Socially I actually get to DO stuff rather than sit in my awful house for weeks. I should have done this long ago... And of course, I saw the ex a few weeks ago. He's still chubby and I still think that's cool (which is wrong, but COME ON) but I found out he moved in with his new girl. Still a punch in the stomach. He did text me at 3AM the other night, which was enough to put me into some sort of tailspin for a few days, but that's over. And it's over faster than I'm used to, which is a good sign. Time for the 4th BBQ-ing. Greasy food that I certainly don't need. Gotta love Holidays. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
1:16 pm	I FINALLY GOT MY COMPUTER BACK AND HOOKED UP!!!!!!! I'm so happy. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 10th, 2006
6:14 pm	What the hell is with this new update page? I try to update my journal, and it looks all funny and I get confused. The internets are clearly to advanced for me. How's this for a shitty twist of events? For the first weekend in forever, people are actually calling me off the hook trying to get me to go out, I have the house to myself, and I just want to lay on my couch in my sinus pained misery. One of the callers is the ex's friend, and usually I'm off the couch and putting on cute makeup in no time, but this time I just know that I'll be too miserabe and frumpy to make any impact, so really, why bother? Something about not looking my hottest makes me want to just lay around. Besides, this dude hasn't called in about a year, so why all of a sudden is my company necessary? I'd like to remind them what they're missing. Or something like that. Actually, I just don't want to subject them to my snotty red eyed madness. Flonase does not really get rid of all symptoms, kids. False advertising at it's best. Not that the internet cares about my period in anyway, but I managed to go seven weeks without bleeding out of my crotch, and now it's like all seven weeks worth of menstrual blood decides to free flow in one day. I'm feeling like a beached whale in a diaper over here. It's sick, I know. Whatever. I had a good day at work today. Managed to successfully fend off my worst client, and played Hello Kitty online games all day. I'm supposed to be helping cure the Metro Detroit area of homelessness, and really I read myspace profiles and play Japanese flash games. Now THAT'S productivity!! I deserve a raise. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
4:59 pm	So, Mary keeps saying she wants to get an apartment, and called all these places, got all excited about it, planned decor and such - then backed out of one viewing on Monday and has answered no email/phone call/IM since. I'm getting irritated thinking she's backing out of it all together, seeing as she's totally ignoring me. She emails like it's her job, so I know she'd make the time to answer. I hate to bug her though, cause having her come along would be fun and not as boring, plus the bills would be cut in half which would be the best thing in the WORLD. My skin is shit lately, I don't know what the hell is going on. After the last disaster with the dermatologist and the insurance I'm just not feeling going back. Plus, it means taking time off work, which I hate doing. Well, I love time off, I just don't like wasting it on stuff that's not fun. (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 25th, 2006
6:14 pm	It sucks very badly you talk to a boy and know that both of you are hinting at hanging out but are both to chicken to actually SAY it. Like - Boy: I'm so bored Me: Me too (and then I say something stupid about bugs, cause at the present moment there is a HUGE one in my house. I get the awful urge to vomit up words to avoid silences and stray from having to be the one to say Me too, lets hang out) Him: Don't worry, bugs can't climb stairs (too cute!!) I hate that I can't figure out what to do. Me: Play darts (he loves them, how corny, but in my mind I'm thinking - Play darts and ask me to come with you, fuckwit!) Him: I might, if I can't think of anything good I'll stay home. Me: Me, too. 30 minutes later - Him: I'm still bored Me: I finished watching my movie Then my dumbo phone GOES DEAD!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! and I have not yet gotten to nerve to call back. I should have stuck with Martinn and his criminal ways. At least I was happy and not stressed over 6th grade style phone calls and lousy cell service. (Comment on this)
10:08 am	I've read three books this week. All of them were really good. I only write this because it's what's making me happy right now. I've started folding over pages in books with lines or quotes that I really like, with the hope that I'll remember them and be able to use them one day to sound very brilliant and witty in a conversation. Here's hoping... I skipped out of my cousin's play, with the excuse I had a lot of do, even though everyone knew I had nothing, but really just wanted to do nothing and maybe run errands on my own. They were OK with it. I've reached a new techonology low of not sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring, but waiting for a text message. Commnication sure is shit, isn't it? And I wasn't waiting for anything from the ex - just a cute boy - so I guess it's not that bad. My hair looks like shit. I should go do something about that. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 19th, 2006
6:25 pm	Again, I had all sorts of good things to update with, up until like 5 minutes ago even. I forgot them all once I logged in. Side note: LJ keeps saying "Autosaved draft" I don't know what that means. Whatever. Anyway, I got millions of texts from Larry this weekend. The day before Valentines he sent a bunch, then was off work so I didn't see him for a few days. He got back and was talking about Melinda and her twins and he seemed like an actual real person in a long-term relationship. I'd say this sucks for me, but for once I don't actually want to like him like him, but he's a cute diversion from the saga of Martinn and the ex. So, Friday he sends me a ton about how I've won him over and stuff. Dudes are just dumb, that's all there is to it. I had to go pick up my car downtown today, it's been there all week because I was driving the company car. It's been pretty non-eventful and I saved on gas all week! That's my favorite part. I took my Mom, mainly cause to get down there I needed her for a ride, but she wanted to eat too. We went to Slows, again. For a place that people love, I don't think it's that awesome, but that could be because I'm not into the whole bar-b-q stuff. I barely ate though, which is good, cause my ass is growing by the minute. On the my ass is growing note, we finally got the treadmill into the basement! I'm so happy because I have about 2 months until I have to be strolling down a So. California beach and I need to not be a lardo when I do that. I got my plane tickets in the mail this weekend, and the $350 was deducted from my account, so the trip is officially real. 11 days. I'm nervous, which is weird because these are girls I've known forever, but being so in "her territory" for that long is weird to me, I guess. The two of them tend to fight, so that might have something to do with it, it's not comfy being in a far away state with two people who are bickering and no one else you know. Ugh, I treadmill walked and my face is looking really red, so I need to go handle that. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 12th, 2006
10:22 am	I got a text from the ex two night ago. At 3:03AM. It was bizarre. I heard my phone go off, and assumed that it was Larry, seeing as he's the King of text messaging. I swear, it's like he does't realize that a phone can actually CALL people and you can speak into it. He has a gadget that does nothing but text, take pictures, and play music. What have the damn phone if you don't use it as a freaking phone?!?. Anyway, the ex. So I look at the message screen and it says HIS name. I'm so confused that I actually do the little blink and shake your phone thing to see if that's really what I'm seeing. And it's even MORE WEIRD because I had nothing to do with it. I mean, of course I answered, but I didn't initiate which, sadly and girly, is usually the case. So, I'll recap the whole 15 words that were exchanged here: He texts Hey I text Hi? (Cause I'm confused - thinking perhaps he's gotten this all wrong and is forgetting that he has sent a text to his exgirlfriend whose heart her stomped on on a daily basis for about three years straight) And he texts What are you doing? I text Sleeping (I mean, it is 3AM) He texts Sorry I woke you up. **I debate not writing anything, and leaving it, but I instead text that he better have something to say, now that he HAS woken me up** He texts I hear you are going to Cali, fun stuff. I text In May if Ami gets the tickets He texts I wish I could go I don't respond, because it seems not worth it at this point. Now I'm locked in the you wish you could go to Cali, or wish you could see your brother, or wish you could go with us? Mind in overdrive, cannot sleep, and now it's 3:30AM. Boys. Ami and I are going to see Casey and the ex's brother lives somewhat close to her now, so we're taking a weekend down there. His brother is in town this weekend, so I'm guessing that Ami mentioned it when they were together. Still, a mention of a trip does not call for a 3AM text. I fully realize how stupidly drunk he probably was, but whatever. I also hate that he knows that a series of texting will cause me to be in turmoil for the next God only knows how long, but he did it anyway. Casey asked if I thought maybe all the trouble with Martinn had less to do with him, and more the turmoil over the ex. Possible she's right - I don't like to date anyone, mostly cause I'm still hung up on this, and I realize that, so Martinn got the sucky end of that stick because I would constantly compare him (or anyone). It was unfair because Martinn was such a better person, and a way better boyfriend, he actually paid attention to me and we had so much fun. I was so focused on the, like, two whole weeks where the ex and I were actually happy and wanted that back so badly that no one else ever stood a chance. I suck. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 6th, 2006
5:25 pm	Lots of things, I guess. I always write that, then never think of anything. I went Downtown a couple times this weekend for the Super Bowl. Well, not for it, because of it. Friday we got to leave work early because Downtown was in total gridlock. People were bribing security guards to get into our parking lots, and cars were being towed left and right because some people managed to get in over the sidewalk and stuff. Too freaky. Anyway, it was fine by me cause I was feeling like my sinuses would explode and I wanted to die. Saturday we ended up going down at about 7. Thank God I work there and had a parking pass, or else life would have been miserable. Malls and such had park and ride shuttles to get Downtown for all the festivals, but there was something like a two hour wait. We had to wal about 10 minutes to get to Winter Blast. So, it was insanely crowded and the weather was total shit. Wet, snowy, and kind of cold (no where near as cold as it could have been, seeing as it was January in MI) but really fun. We looked like drowned rats by the time we got home. We ended up wandering around, then hung out at one of the temporary bars and it was so surreal. This huge space was turned into a bar and had a huge booth around the outside and a GIANT bar with about 23475285 bartenders. For real. We ended up eating at the Breakfast House and some guy bought our whole dinner and bottle of wine. That was making me so happy cause I'm low on the funds. Very, very, low. Now, anyone that actually knows me (and some that don't) know that I have a huge love for Detroit. I like the entirety of the City, and I can't explain why. I love it. Seeing Downtown so pretty and so crowded was really awesome - there are so many cool places there that I will never understand why it can't be as lively every weekend as it was Super Bowl weekend. It had such a big city feel that was really awesome. Sugarcoating is worthless, and there are parts of the City I wouldn't be in the middle of the night, but Downtown has really come so far and has so many really cool places that it's sad it flounders. New York and Chicago style clubs are there, and where there should be huge lines there just aren't. Hopefully people that saw how fun it was actually stick around and come back. Sunday I actually had to work. I guess being in Emergency Management in big events has its drawbacks. We staying in the office on standby to open shelters and stuff, but it was still really cool. We watched the game on big screens in the presentation rooms, and could look out the window at all the people Downtown. It was crazy. I ended up leaving at half time to go home, and missed all the traffic :-) Yay me. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
7:12 pm	I keep getting spam comments. WTF? No one even reads this... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
6:58 pm	It's sad how much I love these quizzes. And sadder how accurate they are. Who makes this shit up, anyway?? You Are Right Brained In Love Bit of a drama queen Peacemaker, first to end a fight Good at thinking up creative dates Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily Going with your gut instead of your head Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault Good at recognizing patterns in relationships Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 14th, 2006
5:25 pm	Is it possible to crazy miss someone you don't even really know all that well? (Comment on this)
12:36 pm	I went out with Ami yesterday. Of course, the ex was there. He was looking like shit but for some reason I wasn't even happy about it. I mean, look, the guy was wearing a shiny purply looking shirt and a black leather jacket. What the hell? Plus, he's totally gained the pounds. I know it's wrong to be even a little happy that someone isn't as cute and definitley fatter - but I was. Not as happy as I'd have liked though. I don't understand why something about him still just really gets to me. We've been over for a long time, and it ended really shitty, so I guess that could be why. I was happy with Martinn (not the previously mentioned Martin - with on N. They're different people) after him, but seeing him is different. Actually, I was happier with Martinn, and seeing him still does hurt a little, but if a different way. We can hang out and talk and whatever and be fine with it. With him it feels like it's not all the way over. And, really, might not be, so long as he can clean up his damn act. But, with Mark it ended shitty. And we just broke up and didn't speak, unless we happened to be out with the same people, and even then we aren't friendly. We just wind up in the same room, and talk if we happen to be involved in the same conversation. It sucked for me cause I was never ready for it to end, and I still don't know why it even really did. I loved that boy so much that it disgusted me (which, in hindsight, is not a good sign, huh?_ Plus, it caught me really off guard that he was there yesterday. Usually he keeps to himself or with whoever the new girl is - and if he is going to be around someone will tell me. It was quite a shock to walk in and he's the first person I see, and I know that people could tell. My facial expressions tend to give me away. I managed to sneak in a few conversation pieces, and did the obligatory hug goodbye, and most likely three more months will go by before I see him again. It's just a very very weird thing. Still, the point is, he looked kinda crappy. I needed to take something good away from the night, so there it is. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
6:09 pm	So, Larry Jr., knowing that I'm feeling like I have the fattest ass is the history of the world yet also knowing that I am loving chocolate like there has never been anything better in this world has bought me sugar free Kit Kats and Reeses Cups. Kit Kats are good any day, but Reeses Cups make me want to have immediate sex with anyone that gives them to me. Come to think of it, this may have been his plan. Larry Jr's name in Martin, by the way, he got the nickname somehow, but hell if I remember how. He's hot. Back to the candy, even sugar free Reeses PBC's are just fucking amazing. It's what I had for dinner. I had to stay late at work today, so there was clearly no cooking that was going to take place. I did some cool stuff this week, I was going to write about it but I forgot it all. The bruise on the bottom of my foot is now twice the size it was yesterday. I tried to get my lazy self off the couch on Monday and tripped over my PJ pant leg. Way to go. Andway, when I stepped down I stepped ONTO a show heel. All cool points were lost, and I howled in pain for a minute or two. Now, it just hurts like a motherfucking bitch and the tiny bruise turned to a big bruise that now takes up the entire arch of my foot. Then yesterday it rained and put me in the worst mood. I guess that's why I forgot about all the cool stuff I did. Whatever. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 9th, 2006
7:51 pm	You Are a Very Bad Girl You are 10% Good and 90% Bad As they say, good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere! You make most bad girls look like angels - and have a hell of a time along the way. Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl? That's better. You Are a Total Girlie Girl You love looking good, and wooing men with your womanly ways. You're so feminine, men are in awe of you ... which is a very good thing. How Girlie Are You? yay! You Are Midtown You love so many things, you don't fit into any one label. Your city girl persona goes to a fancy restaurant one night and a dive bar the next. Are You Uptown or Downtown? Hmm... Your Vibe Is Somewhat Sexy On a good day, you're the sexiest woman in the world But on a bad day, you can't help but feel a little average Try to remember the times you've felt the sexiest... And keep that attitude even on the worst of days How Sexy Is Your Vibe? My vibe needs work. (Comment on this)